Around 11:45 pm, Andrea finished feeding little Marki, Loni, Claire, Teya, Zak, Jada, Grandpa, and Grandma had all gone home. I snuggled Marki for a moment longer and it was time to let her go to the Nursery. Andrea needed some sleep, and I knew she wouldnt get any with Marki not being watched very carefully. As I swaddled my little princess and placed her in the cart and watched her be wheeled away I broke into tears...I thought to myself "What the Hell is your problem man?" It was a scary peculiar feeling. Something innate in my damaged brain said "take a look at this Angel it might be your last"...How screwed up is that? I actually had to gather myself and re-assure what ever that peculiar feeling was that this was not sick Jada Rose. This was a healthy little girl. Although this is our second daughter, its our first healthy baby. I recall feeling un-settled those first few nights we had Jada Rose. It felt like something was wrong. Not so this time, but the wounds of that experience are still present. Now in this quiet room, with Andrea sleeping, I feel a new hope. I am excited that we have the opportunity to live the first six months with a healthy baby. Yet I am fortunate enough to know that life is uncertain. That these children are not immune to the chances of life. I know that every moment is a gift, and promise God every night that I will never forget that as long as he allows me to exist with these little angels. It is indeed a peculiar moment for Andrea and I.
Tonight Jada Rose did come in to visit Marki, she was not quite sure how to handle seeing her mother cuddle another being with such love. But still was excited, and anxious to meet her new little sister. She had 2000 questions regarding how Marki got here...However all questions went out the door when she was given some gifts from Marki. Jada is a HUGE fan of Avatar. Andrea and I ordered her most of the action figures online, as well as the "flying dragons" and the "black Panthers" as Jada calls them. She spent about an hour flying those around the room, and was very content to take her new possessions to Grandpa and Grandma's for the night.
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